Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Letter

I was having an average day. I wasn't particularly happy or upset. I was just going along.

After a boring lecture from Professor Hou on definite integrals, I was ready to go back to Martin and take a nap. But after taking a look at my To-Do List for the day, a nap wasn't going to fit into my schedule. So I stopped by the C-Store to get a coffee.

Angela gets our mail every morning, but I figured I would check it just in case.

Typically, I open our mailbox to disappointment: it's either empty, or there is campus-junk mail shoved inside for all four of us.

But not today.
Today, I opened the mailbox to find a letter.
Addressed to me.
From "Blossom".

I was smiling the whole way back to Martin, coffee and letter in hand, just itching to tear it open and read it. I stopped by the front desk to say hello to Greg, and then rushed up to room 2257. I threw my backpack on our very lumpy futon, sat down at my desk, and opened the letter.

That letter made my day. I was smiling the whole time I was reading it, and I even let out a few laughs.
It's knowing that a friend cared enough to write to me. It's the comfort of seeing her handwriting, and little doodles. And it's the familiarity of life back home.

So thank you, friend.
And be checking your box for a response :)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Words, words, words

Something I've always been keen on is words.

There's something incredible about the way words can affect one person entirely differently than they do another.

I've mentioned this before.

The reason it's become suddenly relevant to me is because of this quote:

"In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it."
- Mitch Albom, Five People You Meet in Heaven

I read that book, a long time ago.
Those words didn't mean anything to me at the time. That quote didn't stand out.

But seeing it now, it means so much.

See, for a while I had been struggling with a lot of things. There are a few CAs here that I strongly admire as people and as friends, and I talked to them about how conflicted I was feeling. They both told me the same thing, about how who I am now was affected by my past, but that doesn't mean my past has to haunt me.

They told me I need to let go of it all.

I thought I had. I told them that I had completely come to terms with everything, and that I had accepted it. But accepting something and moving on are different.

The accepting is merely to identify what it was that I felt. Moving on is the part where I establish why I don't need to feel it anymore.

And that's what I'm focusing on, now.

Friday, October 12, 2012

I'm starting to love college.

So remember that post about how I was really concerned that college wouldn't be a fresh start?

I was completely wrong.
It's not that college is a fresh start, though. Any time in your life can become a fresh start.

There's nothing better than the feeling that you have control.
I feel so great about life right now.

It's not that I've finally become who I want to be, or that I've figured a bunch of life's secrets out. But recently I've met a few people that have opened my eyes to a new perspective. And I just feel like I have more control now.

I've started compiling a list of goals that I'm setting. It's not easy to change things about yourself, I think we're all aware of that. But I'm going to take this one step at a time.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Why even bother?

I mean, seriously.

It's been nearly 4 months since my last post.
No one reads this, anymore.
I never have anything interesting to say.

But I'm going to do this.

Because I really like blogging.
There's something comforting in trying to collect all my thoughts into words and being able to see it all come together, like this.

I think if anything, doing this helps to put my own mind at ease. And if for nothing else, I think doing this for me is actually plenty of reason.

So here we go, again.