Click.

So I was feeling shitty and then I was feeling excellent and then I felt kind of hopeless and now I'm feeling optimistic.

And I don't know how to just level out and be normal.

I guess that's never really been me. I'm usually experiencing some extreme emotion. And I'll be honest with you... it's fucking exhausting.

But it's me, okay? I'm the type of person who's all in*. For everything.

Lately I've come to accept that this is how I am. Unregulated emotions and all.

So I'm just going to appreciate the times when I'm feeling high, and be comforted that these times are soon-to-come when I'm feeling low. And anyway, I've mentioned before that emotions (even the bad or frustrating ones) should always be embraced because that's what makes us human. Life would be boring without them.


*See previous post...

This week's goal: Speak-up up in class at least once. 

All it takes is a smile.

And now I'm all in.

BKKK

Friendship is so transient, and it kind of freaks me out.
But then again, anything involving instability and lack of control freaks me out.

I guess the only thing that I can rely on is that typically when one friendship weakens, another grows stronger.

This week's goal: Be more on-top of things academically.

This was a long fucking week.


This week's goal: Sleep on a regular schedule. 

Please.

Jan 30
I worked with someone new. We have a mutual friend, but the two of us have never particularly gotten along. I feel like I need to prove myself to her.

Please like me. 

Feb 1
I talked to a classmate. She seems nice, and maybe could be a new friendly face in this mass of strangers.

Please like me. 

Feb 3
I met someone interesting today. I didn't meant to, but I fell kind of hard.

Please like me. Please like me. Please like me.

Feb 4
My professor came into the café and finally recognized that I am his student. I made a joke, but couldn't tell whether or not his laughter was simply polite.

Please like me. 

Feb 5
I looked at someone this morning who seemed to be hiding a lot from her friends... and maybe even from herself. It turned out to be my reflection.

Please like me.


This week's goal: Be more honest with friends. I haven't been dishonest, but I guess withholding information feels a little scummy...