Something you once viewed as a sort of freedom is now something you feel trapped within.
Something you once felt trapped within is now something you view as a sort of freedom.
I used to think there was a certain strength in changing the numbers on the scale. Watching them fall, as I would restrict or purge food. It was something I was almost proud of - felt accomplished in. And yet now, I look back and realize I was a slave to my own habits. I was weak: mentally and physically. I used to have this photo saved on my laptop as "free". I thought she was beautiful. And now I see that she's trapped.
I used to feel anxiety about situations over which I had no control. Unfortunately for me, a lot of life is out of one's control. I used to beat myself up over this concept: I would find things I could control. They were almost always a sort of punishment to myself - as if the lack of control was was my own fault. I thought I was trapped in situations which I couldn't manipulate. But there's a release in those situations. And now I see that I'm free.
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