On Insincerity

Everyone around me is sobbing. Their bodies shake, faces buried in their hands or in shoulders as they hug, wailing loudly, inconsolable. This is what I witness. And yes, I am crying too. But I am crying quietly, because I am actually crying. The others are putting on a show.

The context of this situation is this: we are all in eighth grade. We are at a going away party. The party is for three people who are moving in the summer. And we are all their friends. Wait, let me clarify that. About a quarter of us are their friends.

So what are the rest doing? I wonder the same thing.

When each person said they were moving, two things happened:
1. They told their friends, and their friends were shocked. First they react with disbelif, then denial, grief, blankness, and finally accpetance that involves trying-to-make-the-best-of-what-time-we-have-left-together moments.
2. People that had him in a class with me once, or ride the same bus, or there was that one time in class when we talked about how dumb school is, or pass him in the hall sometimes, or his locker was on the same wall as mine, or went to the same elementary school as him...these people hear the news, and they freak the fuck out.
No, I'm not kidding. All of a sudden, they are "such good friends with him" or they "wish we'd gotten to know each other better" or they've "always liked him" or have "just starting to become close". Yeah. It's bullshit.

What's really happening, is these people realize something big is taking place, something difficult and painful, and they want in. They want to feel like they are part of something important, no matter how.

But what's wrong with that; why be critical of it? It's only human nature to want to belong...
Look, don't get me wrong. I'm all for "being human", but if it's going to interefere with the amount or quality of time I have left with one of my best friends, I'm not going to be happy. And I'm not going to like you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to grudgingly, indirectly mention you in a blog post about how annoying and dramatic and insincere you are. So there.

And I think that about captures my disgust with dramatic people: there is a point when drama becomes insincere. That's as good as lying, if you ask me. What they want so desperately is to be in the spotlight, and they overshadow the real situation by creating their own. They impliment themselves into something people are already paying attention to, and they take over; they are leeches.

My actual friends were moving, I was actually sad, and I actually wanted to spend time with them before they moved because I was actually going to miss them and I actually cared. And others were using my actual friends as a mere cast in their own plot to be the center of everything.

I understand that people thrive on attention; I understand that people want to be a part of something. I am tolerant of this. But I will not be accepting when it's not their drama to create, or it's off of other people's situations that they leach.

But, in the words of Bo Burnham, "He's just a little attention attracter. When he grows up to be a comic or actor he'll be rewarded for never maturing, for never understanding or learning that every day can't be about him..." -What's Funny

Yup. Those annoying people who can't get enough, they will never grow out of it. And someday they will be on the big screen, undeservingly making way more money than you.