I was really unhappy today, and I don't know why.
Ever get those days, or even just those little blurbs of time, when you are inexplicably angry?
But then it snowed, and that cheered me up.
It's a cliche, but it's so true: snow is fresh.
Every time I see a cool journal on a shelf, I want it. I have probably twenty blank journals, because I buy them but never write in them. I don't buy them with this intention though, I always think I will use them. But I love how clean and open they are: the potential that exists for them. I never do anything with that potential, but I like the idea of it. On the rare occasion that I do start a journal, or even when I write in a notebook for school, I always leave the first page blank. I do this because it's a new book that I can fill with whatever I want, and it's the first page. That's the page that carries the most potential. And I like to keep it that way.
I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today, and there's a point where Mary talks about how babies' minds are so blank and clean, and adults' have so much clutter. I like the thought of that: having nothing cluttering my mind. There was a time when my mind wasn't filled with so many memories. There was a time when my mind was more or less blank. That sounds so refreshing and calm.
And whenever there is a new snowfall, I like to step around in it, leave my footprints everywhere, make snow angels...but I love the clean patches. They're so pretty, and so tempting to run through.
I like the sentiment of new things; clean things; open things. I like how journals can be filled, and how minds can be filled, but they start out blank. And snow gives that feeling. It covers everything up, as if it can start fresh. Not just for a "second chance", but for many chances.
Once you start writing in a journal, the new-ness is gone. Eventually, your brain is full of memories and thoughts and facts and tasks...
But snow. Snow comes fresh perhaps hourly, or daily, or weekly, or at the very least it comes seasonally. Start over and over and over. And I love it.
And now that it's started snowing, I can wear my snowmen earrings!