Wise people do not always speak wise words

Someone recently told me that emotions should be independent of experiences.
I was immensely confused by this statement, and I don't remember exactly what he said to me after I expressed this, but it was something with the general undertone of: "of course you have a hard time understanding this concept".
Initially, I took offense by this response. So I tried desperately to understand in order to prove him wrong.

But here's the thing: even after trying and trying and goddamn trying to wrap my head around this, keeping an open mind, and working out how this could be a useful way to live life... I still disagree.

Logic and emotions are separate; we often use this to justify weird things.
I mean, say you have a gut feeling about someone, and even though logically you should trust her, you find you don't because of this feeling.
Or love (ugh) is another one. Sometimes you fall in love with someone who logically you shouldn't be attracted to, and yet you can't help being head-over-heels with heart eyes bugging out of your head like a cartoon.

These are emotions. They can't be controlled.

And how demanding do you have to be of life to think this way? I thought I was a control freak, but this to me sounds like something that would take a lot of power... and can you truly enjoy power? Does it make you happy?

Emotions are freeing. They're what bring any sort of color to our lives. Sometimes you are uncontrollably happy and you feel on top of the world! And sometimes you are down and you feel like you can't sink lower but then surprise!, you do...

Most of the time, you aren't experiencing one extreme or the other, yet there's an artful beauty that you're capable of these emotions (however exhausting they might be). I DO believe that emotions are (and should be) based on experiences. And I think that's wonderful and beautiful and tragic and horrifying: that's exactly why life is worth living.

Can you imagine if you were able to control your emotions? Everything would feel the same all the time, and would thus become neutral. That sounds terrifying.

So what I've learned from this whole ordeal is that wise people do not always give wise advice. I mean, he's probably content all the damn time. And maybe that sounds like a good thing to you, but to me it sounds rather boring.


This week's Weekly Distraction

Sorry for being boring today.

Everything takes maintenance. Which is hard.

And usually you're striving to better a situation (or yourself), not just maintain it.

So there's that.


This week's Weekly Distraction

Searching for an answer to the question Haddaway voiced for us all:

What is love?

Plato had a Theory of Forms which essentially states that there are non-material "Forms" which are perfect and ideal, but which the material world (although continually trying to reach this fundamental purity) cannot achieve.

What does this mean? Well it kind of invalidates Webster (sorry, dude) since dictionary definitions are an attempt to give words an exact meaning. Words do have an exact meaning, but according to this theory they cannot be accurately articulated.

Basically, the answer to the question, "What is love?" cannot be verbalized.

Disappointed? I sure was, initially. But you see, no one asks this question out of interest the definition of the word "love"; it's asked because people want to understand the concept (or Form, if you will) of love. Alright, so it's not something we can explicitly define (which is difficult anyway since it's an emotion) but that doesn't mean understanding it is a hopeless wish.

I made the mistake of trying to understand it via logic.
I dissected the word "love". I broke it down to a science (like a true engineer). I plotted out which questions needed to be answered in what order, and systematically attempted to answer each question. All this work only to discover that each question brought up even more questions, or would lead back to formerly unanswered questions.

I had to tear myself away from this method, since the only thing I was getting out of it was a headache. Upon giving up, I suddenly felt as though I understood love - when I wasn't thinking.

So what is love?

Well you know, it's... love. Maybe we have such a difficult time understanding love because we can't articulate it. But it's so deeply rooted that it's almost like instinct. Being in love isn't like having someone complete you, rather it's that someone is an extension of you. That person's needs become of equal priority to your own. Love: we can recognize it, we feel it; deep down we understand it. No definition necessary.

Love is beautiful and painful. Relationships are hard, but in some ways... love is easy.


This week's Weekly Distraction

When things come to an end

It's a sort of bitterness that you can't savor, and you're not quite sure why you want to. Something keeps pulling you along. It's as though nothing is really ending.

And yet...


This week's Weekly Distraction

Saying Goodbye

It's weird. For the first time in college, I'm not ready to say goodbye.


This week's Weekly Distraction

Burn bright

I stood outside and watched all the lights go out around me.

I kept mine on until the sun returned.


This week's Weekly Distraction

*shrugs shoulders* ...Why not?

Last week was all about spontaneity.

Monday I decided to go to the lab to finish my homework (which I never do), and I ended up being really productive and finished most of my presentation material before the night ended.

Tuesday I picked up a shift for Maranda at the last minute to close at the cafe. It was a long shift but I enjoyed it.

On Wednesday I had unplanned lunch with Philip. After my group meetings, since the weather was nice, I took a little walk around campus. It was lovely: everything is in bloom.

Thursday night after Help Room, I decided on a whim to go with Kaitlyn and Philip to Chipotle, after which we went to Sweeney to study (I use this term loosely since I did three o-chem problems and then we proceeded to watch very strange YouTube videos).

Then on Friday I saw a bunch of Chem Es playing frisbee/soccer and I joined them. We decided to do wheelbarrow races and three-legged races (I lost both because I collapsed in laughter halfway through).

So it was a good week. Unexpectedly.


This week's Weekly Distraction